Letters to Beth
by S101me
Summary: These are the letters from Puck to Beth that he wrote but never sent. Latest letters consist of Kurt, Rachel, Quinn, Santana, Brittany and Puck again! Sam may be next!
1. First Letter

**These are the letters Puck wrote to Beth but never sent them.**

**Enjoy!**

Dear Beth,

How're you doing? It's been a couple of months since I saw you, but I miss you like crazy. Sometimes I wish Quinn never would've never given you up, but I know you're happy with your Momma. If you're happy, then I'm happy, because I love you and you should know that. Even though you're only three years old, I feel like you already graduated from high school and college, who knows why. I think that hanging around Kurt has made me go soft. Lord, I don't want to turn out like him! Well, I always knew my rep would fade eventually. Thank God my Mohawk hasn't disappeared. Right now, I bet you're bored hearing about me, so I'm going to talk about you.

You're going to preschool soon, aren't you? Well, here's a word of advice from your Daddy. Boys are stupid. Yes, I admit it, and they will tease you and be mean to you, but that just means they like you. But don't get hung up on bad boys. You'll find out later in life. Anyways, who knows when you'll be able to read this letter, but I know you are a very smart girl (you told me I was a good daddy at age two and a half) and will get high grades in everything. If not, your Momma would destroy you. Nah, I'm just kidding, you're way too cute and too much of an angel. Don't get to cocky though, because you're terrible twos haven't come yet, I have a hunch that it will be the terrible threes. That'll be the day.

I really don't know what to say. It's been such an overwhelming day for me, and I have no clue how I managed to have time for this. (Wait, never mind, Finn took over for an hour) I'm just happy I get to see you and write to you, and maybe when you're older, you can write back. I know it might sound kinda lame, but if you want to, I'll be more than happy to keep it up. Anything for my little princess. (Literally, you pretend like you're a fairy princess, its adorable)

Signing off,

The Puckasaurus

P.S. I saw some of the shows you like on Disney Jr. You seriously need to stop watching that crap. I could get you hooked on C.S.I. if you want.


	2. The Puckasaraus

**Here's the next letter from Puckasaurus to T-Beth.**

**Enjoy!**

Dear T-Beth,

In case you don't understand that, instead of T-Rex, it's T-Beth. I'm kinda going for the dinosaur theme, in case you didn't notice. What the heck! You're three! Yeah, I'm stressed, if you couldn't tell. The pool cleaning business isn't going so well, and Quinn's modeling is pretty slow. We're also crunched for time, because Quinn promised Tina and Mike that she would watch their kid, and I had to come, and not to mention our part time jobs. In short, we're struggling.

I hope you're doing well, and that you're having fun no matter what. I saw on Facebook that your Momma posted you singing. It was in baby speak, and a bit broken, but you've got talent Beth. Well, it's in your genes, with me being so freakin' awesome, and Quinn having a voice rival to the angels. Let's just say we're a bunch of awesome and wonderful people. And one day, when you go to McKinley High, you'll be the future Rachel Berry, except that you won't get a slushie facial. But you will be rocking out and have a great voice, leading New Directions to victory once more. You'll do it, I'm sure of it.

I'm coming to see you real soon. Your Momma is having something come up, so I get to babysit you. And just to let you know, we will be watching C.S.I., not Mickey Mouse Club House. Quinn can't come; she has one modeling thing to do. She wishes she can come, and she says hi. I bet if you could talk really long sentences, you'd say you wish she could come too. I can't wait. But for you, it'll be a surprise, because I don't think you can read this yet. If you could, you'd be in second grade at age three. The boy across the street would be so jealous, since he thinks he's the bomb. If you're wondering how I know this, well, I'm good with kids. Seriously, when I was the current "bad boy" of McKinley, I used to hang out with these twins across the street. But let's keep that between the two of us, okay Beth? Good.

Well, I just got a phone call to clean this guy's pool, so I have to stop writing now. I'll be seeing you soon, so don't you worry.

Love,

The Puckasaurus


	3. The Babysitting Job

**Here is the next letter of adorableness. **

**Enjoy!**

Dear Beth,

I babysat you last week, and you were beyond adorable. I was so overjoyed to see you; I scooped you in my arms and started singing. After you started smiling and giggling, I put you down and added the guitar, which you got a hold of and started plucking at the strings. You were a natural for your age, and it didn't sound as bad as I thought it was. I only wish Quinn was there. Anyways, I tried to watch C.S.I. with you, but you through a mini meltdown and hit me. So I was forced to put on the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, which is really bad. It's obvious that Mickey is really stupid, because he does not know that a carrot is no good to cross a river with.

You were a bit of trouble during the time I saw you. It seemed like you were just out to get my goat. Well, I am a troublemaker, so I guess it runs in the family. Please, please, please Beth, please don't turn out like me. Please.

I always see pictures of you, and then I see pictures of me, and I hang them all on the wall for the world to see that I am the proud father of YOU, and Quinn is your mother, even though your Momma says she is. I wonder when you'll find out you're adopted. Either way, I still hope you love your Momma just the same. No storming off on my part, or you'll be sorry. If you do storm off, I hope you come to our place.

You talked a lot, a little too much if you were a teen, but since you're an adorable little toddler, I could stand it. You told me: I want a pod! I think you meant iPod, and your Momma has one and she told me that you like touching the screen. I think I'll get you a pink one day, and I can put all of the New Directions music on there. Did you know Artie found a way to get all of the songs we performed onto an iPod? He's a great guy.

When you go to McKinley High, I dearly hope Mr. Schuester is there. Now, T-Beth, this is an order. You, Beth Corcoran, are required to join Glee Club. Complaining is not allowed. You might get slushies on you every day, but it will totally be worth it. For all we know, you could meet your future husband in there. But I want to meet him. Just kidding.

Now, I'm going to wrap it up and put a nice bow on it. Beth, I'll see you soon, dino's promise.

-Noah Puckerman. (Puck, Puckasaurus, ect..)


	4. Words of Sucky Advice

Dear Bethie-Poo,

I feel so corny, writing these letters from me to you, with all these pet names. What the heck happened to bad boy me? I blame it on Kurt and Artie. Don't tell them that. I'm really dumb apparently, because I actually think you're going to tell those two something, when you're just a little, angelic girl. Well, maybe I stood uncorrected before.

Your Momma told me you hit the terrible three's! No, not my little T-Beth! Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please don't turn out like me, except for the awesome part. So what if I'm egoistic, you know it's true!I mean the awesome part, just so you know.

Anyways, your Momma remarked to me via email that you were served (generously, I might add!) some pumpkin pancakes, and you took one bite, and then started banging it all over the place! What do you have against pumpkins?

If you don't behave yourself, I'm going to get Rachel to come over and drone on and on about how amazing she is… or maybe I'll get Kurt to sing Don't Cry for Me Argentina. That dude can hit some serious high notes. I on the other hand, cannot and will never sing high. It just won't happen, not matter how hard you bribe or pay me.

Things are going great, thanks for asking! Quinn got a job modeling winter outfits for some big shot designer store that I forgot the name of, and my pool cleaning business is a big hit! Especially with all the ladies! Great, now Quinn's going to find out! Please don't mention it to her!

Here are some words of advice for you. Boys are stupid. I know, great words of advice, blah, blah, blah, but it's true, and you should know you'll always be smarter than them. If a boy is mean to you, or overly nice to you, it means they have a crush on you. Now, if you run home crying because some guy was super mean to you, just say that your dad is Puckerman. That'll get them big time, because they know my reign on McKinley, and they know my kick ass voice.

Don't get to caught up in fashion and cheerleading and dating the jocks when you're in high school. It's just not worth it, not this time around, not ever. Just be true to yourself. Well… no. That never works out, and you know what? Forget it. I suck at giving advice.

If that insane cheerleading coach is around… Sue Sylvester, make sure to stay clear of her. She's big trouble alright, and you do not want to be that woman's enemy. She'll crush you to the pits of despair. Literally. And since I'm falling asleep, I'll sign off!

From the best, awesomest, dad and person the world has ever created:

The Puckster


	5. Mohawks and New Directions

Yo Beth,

I'm writing this letter to you because I'm not going to be in touch for a couple of weeks, maybe even months. Please don't ask me why, it's a very complicated thing I'd rather not converse with my little girl. So this letter is kind of important, at least in my eyes it is. For you, you might just think that your old man is lame. I'm not an old man, which was just a metaphor! Or a simile… I never paid attention in fifth grade and up, so I don't exactly know. That's no reason to not study, just because your amazing dad sort of got bad grades. Okay, awful grades. I still managed to graduate though, and that's an achievement in its own way.

I heard from your Momma that you have a little posse that you hang around with at the little kids park. She also sent me a picture of them all. I showed them to Quinn, who just smiled and then laughed as she saw one dude's Mohawk. Kid's got style, but you shouldn't hang around him. Kids at that age with Mohawks are always trouble. Take it from me; I had a Mohawk at that age! And do you know what I was doing? Getting pocket knives from these lame boy scouts and slashing tires! I was extremely intelligent back then.

One day, I'm going to make all of New Directions write these to you. Finn, Rachel, Quinn, Artie, Kurt, Tina, Mike, the whole gang! And you'll see what I had to deal with! Especially with that bossy, snobby, yet talented Rachel. Did you know I dated her for a while? I know right! So gross. Please don't tell her I said that! Why do I keep thinking you can talk like that? I'm going to go crazy, if I'm not already.

I will now say this. I love you Beth, and you mean the world to me. Your next letters, I will make sure of it, will be from New Directions, I promise. Aw great, I feel so lonely even when I'm still writing this. –Letter Hug!-

-Puck is super amazing and you know it because I'm so cool!


	6. Kurt's Letter

Dear Beth Corcoran,

I don't know you, but that inconsiderate bully Puckerman made me write this letter. I'm sorry if I'm insulting your father, but he tortured me in high school. He threw me in the dumpster in some of my most expensive Ralph Lauren and Marc Jacobs outfits. The nerve of him! I dearly hope you don't turn out like him, which would just be disappointing. Now, your _dear_ father is cracking his knuckles, and I guess I didn't come here to shoot him down. I must admit, he grew up to be a sort of responsible adult, and is being slightly nice. That's just my opinion, and we all know my opinion is the only one that matters.

Right now I'm visiting Lima for the summer, since I'm trying to make it big on Broadway, along with Rachel Berry, my good friend, once enemy. It would be splendid if we could both get on the same show, but of course, it's hard to go big when it comes to NYC. I'm much more talented than anyone will ever be in the most wonderful city that was ever born, excluding Patti LuPone. She's super talented, and when you grow up, make sure to Google her and listen to every single song she ever sang. You will be in tears after listening to Kurt Hummel's idol. What Kurt Hummel says is amazing, is amazing. It's a genuine fact, and a law, as far as I'm concerned.

When you're old enough, make sure to buy a ticket to one of my future Broadway shows. I will force your adoptive mother, or Noah to buy you one, I don't care if he's immersed in debt, it will be extremely heart-felt and my cover of Don't Cry for Me Argentina will have you break down in tears. Those Warblers had no clue what they were dealing with when they turned me down. Ah, those were those days, when Blaine and I were no more than a small spark. Look at us, married and, you know, let's have you get a little bit older before we discuss Blaine and me, alright? (If I even know you…)

Now, seeing as how Puck has shuddering fashion sense, and will not know what to buy you when it comes to clothes for Christmas gifts. I'll step in and make a generous donation. I dearly hope you're grateful for everything I'll do for you. If there's one thing that upsets me are awful clothes. Trust me; I've been trying to get Rachel out of her kindergartner fashion sense since forever.

Future Broadway Star,

~Kurt Hummel~


	7. Rachel Berry's Fantabulous Letter

Dear Beth,

Just so you know, I happen to love my fashionable ways. Kurt has no clue what he's talking about. And by the way, my performance of Don't Cry for Me Argentina is ten times better than his. As much as I love him, I must admit I have a much stronger, amazing voice than his. He's good, but not as good as moi. In fact, I may just have the best singing in the whole world. I always got solos, because I was the best. Common knowledge, my dear Beth. Common knowledge.

Quinn and I are good friends now, don't you worry about a thing. Your mother is quite an icon, first up, she was captain of the Cheerios in High School, she was captain of the Celibacy Club, she got straight A's all the time, and she was absolutely stunning! When we were stupid and in High School, she terrorized me. Don't worry, we're all friends now, so don't worry your head off. Just don't become all evil and mean and such, because it will do you know good. You might end up pregnant.

Your father (did you know we used to date? EW!) wanted me to write this letter to you and showed me Kurt's as an example. It wasn't much of an example, but Rachel Berry can do anything. So I got out my lucky pen and my gold star stickers and got to work! Before long, I was halfway done with the letter and smiling proudly! Yep, I'm that amazing ;) (Just to be clear, I'm amazing in ALL categories!)

Quinn told me that she asked your adoptive mother, and my real mother, Shelby, if she can take Beth for about a week, and the New Directions will all get together and reminisce when we were young and unafraid. Guess what I'm quoting from? Les Mis, I Dreamed a Dream! Getting back on track, Quinn decided for you to meet everyone! Tina, Santana, Mike, Artie, Sugar, Finn –sigh! The whole gang from way back when. (Please don't be intimidated by Santana, she's mean, but she has a bit of a kind heart. Bit.) You know what, Puck was right when he said that when you write these letters, you kind of gush everything out, and then you realize you're talking to a toddler, a baby no less.

I'm sure you'll be a fantastic singer one day, and I'd be more than happy to coach you. Because by the time your graduated high school, I'll be the most iconic person in the world. Mr. Kurt I'm-so-much-better-than-Rachel-Berry-Hummel will be second. Our little rivalry goes way back, so don't you worry. Truth is, we're best friends. Our love of show tunes brought us together J

Forever Great,

Rachel Berry (Here's a gold star for you!)


	8. Apologies From Quinn

**Thank you SOA Marine girl 315 for all the reviews, you make me smile with each one that you put! Some of you should take a leaf out of her book XD! Enjoy Quinn's letter, next up is Santana!**

Dear Beth,

Puck told me I should write to you, and I listened to him. I know you're just a little baby, barely a toddler, but still, I'm writing to you like I'm writing to one of my friends. It's really weird, but if you ever read this, I hope you're not mad at me for giving you up. I was in high school, and had too much going on, and the better place for you to live was with Shelby. I just want to know that I love you Beth and I can't wait to see you again. I can only hope you'll feel the same way.

Once upon a time I was in love with your father, way before you were born, perhaps in the first year of high school, when we immediately liked each other, even though I "said" I was in love with Finn. I guess I fell in love with him too, but still loved Puck at the same time. One break up led to another, and you were born. I felt so awful signing the papers to give you to Shelby, but I knew somewhere in my heart that we both needed it.

One day, I really hope you can forgive me. Trust me when I say, I did not do this for my selfish reasons.

Shelby (reluctantly, I'm not going to get into it) emailed me some pictures of you, and I literally died on the spot. You were on a double slide; with a cute little smile on your face while the little boy next to you was scared out of his wits. I smiled for the rest of the day. It's my laptop's screensaver, just so you know. Puck's… uh… never mind. Another cute picture of you is when you got into the kitchen and you grabbed the metal spatula, and Shelby took a picture just in time. You looked all proud; and not to mention you were in all hot pink.

I admit, I've done some stupid stuff in my life, and getting pregnant with you was a big one. However, in a way, I'm glad it all happened. If it didn't, you wouldn't be here right now, and you wouldn't graduate high school and college, and get married and have kids of your own.

Your biological mother,

Quinn Fabray

P.S. If Sue Sylvester is the captain of the Cheerios, try and get on her good side, okay?


	9. Santana's Sorta Evil Letter

**Eventually all the letters get sent, except for this one. Santana was just too mean. This isn't really well thought out in my opinion… but that's me!**

Dear Puckerman's stupid offspring,

I am so annoyed that your stupid dad made me write this stupid letter to stupid you, please tell me if there are enough stupids in this utterly stupid letter. (That was sarcasm, didn't know if you knew. You probably didn't because you have a stupid dad. Did I tell you that already?) Alright, enough with being as incredibly nice, it's making me sick.

Now, I'm usually not this mean with little kids, but I'm just annoyed right now because Brittany (My GF) just accidentally destroyed a cake in our kitchen. Don't ask why, my perfect hair is covered in pink frosting right now, and I need to get it out. The only problem is that Puckerman keeps sending me these texts threatening me that if I don't finish the letter… you know, never mind, it's none of your business anyways.

Have you ever listened to yourself sing? I have. I'm amazing.

I'm so done with writing letters. I mean, being the brilliant person Puckerman is, why couldn't he just say, "Oh, write and email, that'll get to her faster and take less time instead of writing it by freaking hand!" Hmm? Got any excuse for that?! No you don't. Seriously. And no matter what your adoptive mom says, YOU ARE ADOPTED. These parents who adopt their kids sometimes say that they're their real parents, and the messed up kids don't know the truth until they're fifty or sixty. Yep. It's happened. (On TV…)

I hope you get frosting in your hair so you can feel the pain I'm feeling.

-Santana Lopez

P.S.: If anyone asks you, "Who was the best singer you've ever heard?" Say Santana Lopez. Because deep down, we all know it's true.


	10. The Awkward Turtle is Finn

Dear Beth,

I remember when your dad and I used to throw Kurt Hummel, my stepbrother, in the dumpster, and slushie all the losers in McKinley. I used to date the head cheerleader, and be the star of high school, with Puck as my sidekick. Or the other way around. Oh well. And now, Puck and I are still great friends, and I'm continuing to support him by writing this to you. By support, I guess I mean taking five minutes to write this and paying him twenty bucks for using his pencil.

Wow, this is really, really, awkward.

Um… I guess… follow your dreams?

Okay now this extremely weird.

Um, I guess I'll tell you about bravery.

Now, do you know about Santana Lopez? She might've written to you, I'm not sure, but believe or not, she's one of the bravest people I know. I'm not sure if your dad wants me to get into gay stuff with you or what, but I'll just settle it at she's amazingly courageous. She's done all sorts of things, which I can't necessarily remember at the moment, Rachel's distracting me. But she's an icon, no matter how rude she comes off. Deep down, down, down, she's good inside.

Another person who's brave is Sam. He's a great friend, but he was homeless for a certain amount of time, but he pulled through for his family. Beth, you have to be brave in high school and middle school, because it's going to be tough. Just know people have your back.

Now, um, I wanted to join the army, but I guess that didn't really happen.

Well, um, I have no clue what to say.

Have you been on Tumblr? I mean, it's pretty cool and all. You should go on it sometime.

-Finn Hudson


	11. Brittany S Pierce and Lord T

Deer Beth,

Lord Tubbington is mad at me. And I'm mad at him.

He started smoking again for like, the fourth time already. And not to mention he's been eating waaaaaayyyyy to much sushi for my likking. And it's a vegetarian sushi to, so that's like, bad for kitties like Mr. Lord T. Santana won't let me buy the fancy kitty food at the market, because I'll overfeed him and then he'll die. That would be bad.

He's mad at me because I didn't give him enough screen time on this week's Fondo for Two. I'm still doing it on Utube, and it's become a hit. More like a hit to the jaw, because there's a lot of ugly trolls who comment. I want to see those ugly trolls. I bet you they're cuuuute.

Lord T. also tried to take over FacebooK AND Twitter. The guys who created it came to my house and slapped his butt. And mine. For whatever reason. They said I was a bad owner. So they spanked me again. And I cried. And Lord Tubbington cried. We cryed together. And then I woke up, and Lord Tubbington's butt was fine. And so was mine.

Lord T. would scratch your eyes out.

Britney Spears has shadowed me for years. But then I met her. And she was pretty.

I like pie.

BRITTANY S. PIERCE


	12. Back To Puck

Dear Bethasaurus,

Well, we just had the original New Directions reuninion, complete with everybody who was in it. Even Rory came down from his trip to Ireland with that talentless Sugar. It was so fun, and I swear, Tina and Mercedes were just fawning over you. You just were having the time of your life, and just babbled and talked, which most of it didn't make sense, but that just made it even cuter.

Man, old Mr. Schue just looks the same.

You especially liked Quinn, even though your Momma was just a bit uncomfortable with that, but she left soon, lecturing me about keeping her little Beth in good hands. Of course, the only "horrible" thing I've ever did to you is have Brittany put Lord T. on your lap, which wasn't even that bad. Anyways, Quinn was just radiating, and I was completely rocking out, revisiting my old punk days, and I almost hit Sam in the face. I didn't really apologize.

Man, if Lauren Zizes came down from wherever she was... God would have to save me from her. I don't think you'd like her very much.

And then there were the performances. Rachel, like usual, was up first, singing a song, what was it called... oh yeah, A Thousand Years by Christina Perri or something. And then Mercedes started yelling at her for stretching out the notes too long, and then Rachel got kicked off the stage. BY ME!

Yeah, Mike Chang did some kick-ass dance, Blaine did yet another Katy Perry song, Kurt did some crazy showtune thing, Santana performed Blow Me One Last Kiss, by P!nk, Brittany did a children's song, like, "Here is my glasses, this is my book. I put on my glasses..." Tina started to sing Secrets by Onerepublic, but was cut off my a drunk me. I was the life of the party, but most of the girls got mad at me.

So, when the reuninion was over, Quinn and I drove you back to your Momma's. She was super suspicious of me, but I think I covered up pretty well, but when Quinn and I got home, she said she could smell the liquor. I rolled my eyes, and told her to go to bed.

The biggest, baddest, awesomest Daddy in the whole stinking world,

The Puckster


End file.
